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Birding Humor > Laws of Birding
Laws of Birding
LAWS CONCERNING RARE BIRDS
- #1 - Rare birds reported on Wednesday are usually gone
- #2 - During spring and fall, all major flights will occur
on a weekday.
- #3 - The further you travel to see a particular bird, the
less likely you are to find it
- #4 - If you don't see a bird within a certain amount of
tries, it becomes insulted and deliberately avoids you from then on.
- #5 - A bird will be seen by others only after you, as the
sacrificial lamb, leave. Sometimes you can trick the bird into coming out
by loudly announcing that you are leaving and starting to move in that direction.
- #6 - A bird will be seen by others only after you have
snuck into the woods to take care of biological responsibilities
- #7 - Good birds appear when you have a bagel with cream
cheese in your hand.
LAWS CONCERNING FIELD MARKS
- #1 - Whenever you are out birding without a field guide
and see a new bird, the field mark you think is the important one is never
the important one.
- #2 - A bird will always fly before you can look at the
important field mark.
LAWS CONCERNING LIFE BIRDS
- #1 - You may look for a particular bird for 20 years without
finding it, but once you DO find it you find them everywhere. They turn up
in your driveway, on your porch, EVERYWHERE. They suddenly become robin-like
in their numbers.
- #2 - The bird that you struggle through difficult terrain,
endure multiple injuries and screw up your schedule for, will be waiting for
you above your car in the parking lot.
LAWS OF IDENTIFICATION
- #1– It’s a Redstart
- #2 - If a small brown bird flies across the road, it's
a Song Sparrow.
- #3 - If the bird sits there all day and lets you look at
all its field marks, it is not a rare bird.
- #4 - If there are two or more birds in a tree and one is
a rarity; the only one you can't see is the rarity.
- #5 - Dull birds with difficult plumage are always seen
on overcast days.
- #6 - Woodpeckers and creepers spend more time on the far
side of the trunk
- #7 - A bird is most visible when you look in your field
guide and least visible when you go back to look for the next field mark.
- #8 - Birds are most visible when your binoculars are down.
- #9 - The rarer the duck or goose, the further from shore
it will be.
- #10 - Birds which need to be distinguished by voice only
sing when aircraft are overhead.
- #11 - Seabirds always appear in pairs - one flying left
to right, the other flying right to left. Of the two, only one is ultimately
identifiable. It is the one you choose not to follow.
- #12 - If you have seen the bird before, it is an escapee.
If it is a lifer, it's wild.
LAWS OF PHOTOGRAPHING BIRDS
- #1 – Your best photographic opportunities will occur
when you do not have a camera
- #2 - The lens you have with you is never long enough.
- #3 - If the lens is long enough, the bird will be too close
to focus on.
- #4 - If you see a bird you do not recognize and photograph
it for later identification, all the key characteristics will be obscure.
LAW OF SCOPES
- #1 - If you need the scope, it is in your trunk. If you
do not need it, it is on your shoulder.
LAWS OF HAWK WATCHING
- Eastern Law #1 – It’s a Red-tailed Hawk
- Western Law #1 – It’s a Raven.
- Eastern and Western Law #2 - It is NOT a Golden Eagle.
NUMBER ONE LAW OF BIRDING
- #1 - Common species are more common than rare species.